Go home, Australia. You’re drunk!


Tonight I had dinner at a pub which is actually a restaurant that is called a hotel.

Anyone as confused as I am?

In Australia, pubs are more restaurant-like environments where people congregate for a bite to eat and a drink.  You are required to order and pay for your food and drinks prior to being served.  That’s one way to ensure no one stiffs you at the end of the night; no dine-and-dash here.  What we Americans refer to as a pub would actually be classified as a bar, in an Australian dictionary.

Pub food in Australia is not pub food at all.  Tonight I dined on chicken parmigiana, or “parma” as the Aussies call it.  Rather than being plated on a bed of spaghetti, it was served with chips, or french fries, and fresh vegetables.  Sure beats peanuts and pretzel rods placed on the sticky counters of any pub I’ve ever been to.

You might ask, “Why are they called hotels?”  Good question and I have yet to find the answer.  The whole bit would be far less confusing if they did not call actual (by American standards) hotels, or temporary living accommodations, hotels, as well.  Learning this lingo is no easy task, I’ll tell you that much.

The one thing Australians and Americans can agree on is the definition of a club.  A club is a venue in which music with heavy bass is blasted from speakers by an overzealous DJ, as girls drunkenly dance around in short skirts in the middle of winter.



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